Homesick

Every pain, every doubt, every problem seems disappearing while being with you.

I Need to Forget Some Things

I need to mind my own life - why is it so difficult for everyone?
I should be happy with my life - why is it so complicated after all?
I don't want to feel this. Why am I so doubtful? You don't make it easy for me...

Longest Mistake Ever

How long can you believe in something that is impossible? I could do so for 4.5 years.

Worst Feelings Ever

Getting hurt
Thinking that my father does not love me
Feeling miserable about hurting a friend

Feeling Love

I slept in his sweater to feel his smell. I really miss him, when we don't sleep together. I need his arms around me. He said yesterday that this could be because I could only sleep in my father's arms when I was a baby. Maybe he's right. But I think this is "only" the fact that I need to feel his love next to me. As I fell his love when he's with me.

Being Happy

I am happy. I could explain why but I won't. It's just a fact. It is about love of course. :P
And I can tell you, being happy is good.

Memories

I remember a little house and two old persons. I really liked them. Why have they come into my mind? Because of him. He came into my mind actually. And I saw that he is not online. An the next thought was that he is at their place. I miss them in some way. Yes. I miss them.

Happy New Day

The Sun always rises. I always realise that I am mad when I am tired. But I even always forget this when I am tired. After some sleep everything is all right. Thanks to Enya I don't have a head-ache any more. I am ready to change the world. First I will do my best to prepare for my classes. Yes, that's what I am going to do.

Eating is Good for Your Nerves

Trust me. After a good dinner all the world seems nicer.

I Want to Kill Somebody

No comment. It doen't matter whom. I want to destroy. I need to do something with this energy.

Having Fun?

I wanted exactly this. I wanted to be a PhD student and a useful member of the society. But now I am tired and have a lot of problems. This is just the end of the first week and I have so much things to do that I cannot fulfil. I have to create some things for my lessons and have to start my studies with analysing some books and articles. And I don't know how to start. I help everybody but who will feel that they should help me? I am tired.

Sometimes Crying Helps

This is not that time. I am tired and he were tired too. I should not think about it, just go to bed. Why can I not do that? Thus I am tired. I will sleep now.

First Day at Hell?

We started the new semester. The day was a mess, but there were a lot of good things. But I am tired to write about them. I am afraid of some things but I am also happy about this semester. I started a new life. :)