I am too Young to Be a Spinster

My mother made me feel that I am a spinster. One of my former classmates is getting married next Saturday, my sister's wedding will be next year. But nobody knows when my weddig will be. I don't know why it is so important. I am only 24. Nobody should tell me when it is time to get married.

One Day I'll Fly Away

I follow the night
Can't stand the light
When will I begin to live again

One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
What more could your love do for me
When will love be through with me
Why live life from dream to dream
And dread the day when dreaming ends

One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
Why live life from dream to dream
And dread the day when dreaming ends

One day I'll fly away
Fly fly away...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PdYsvMXcco

One Day at the End of the World

I bougth a self phone today. It's a Sony-Erricsson Z310i model, nearly pink, rather cherry-like. I will love it, but now it is a little bit strange. It's not at all similar to my other phone. I have already sent my first sms with it. Guess to whom :P

We bought some vaccine today too. I will got an injection on Friday. Looking forward to it :(

I nearly bought a bag for my laptop too. But they were not my cup of tea, so this shopping will be for another day.

I got nothing to do today. Really nothing. It is boring after a while. I am tired.

Les Miserables

On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone, I walk with him till morning
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me

In the rain the pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me for ever and forever

And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say, there's a way for us

I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone, the river's just a river
Without him the world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers

I love him
But every day I'm learning
All my life I've only been pretending
Without me his world will go on turning
A world that's full of happiness
That I have never known!

I love him
I love him
I love him
But only on my own.

Vocabulary

Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may have no knowledge that he or she is threatening the relationship.

Feelings

I felt something strange yesterday. I was in my room, lying on my bed, reading a book. And I felt myself at home. I know it sounds rediculous, but I was frightened of this feeling. Then a strange thought came into my mind. I felt I will never leave my parents' house. It is stupidity, I know, but it was really frightening.

I drew some drafts this afternoon. They were about things I'm going to make for my sister's wedding. I really like drawing. And I know that I will like making these things too. I never thought I would. But now I am happy as I can help her. She is my sister, and I love her.

I made some food today. I was alone in the kithcen, mixing an egg with some milk and sugar and I had a strange feeling. I can't explain it, nor I can describe it. It was like I was in my own kitchen not in my mother's. I am at home, but this was not that kind of 'feeling myself at home' thing. I don't know what I should think about it.
Who can tell me what is happening to me?

Friends

She was a child and he was not an adult man yet. She loved him. He didn't know how he feels. He loved another one. Maybe more than one girl. Or maybe he did not know what he really wanted. They started a relationship. It seemed to work for a while. At the begining he did not really want it. But it was confortable for him. Then he became happy. It was a good period. Then it ended. She didn't want to finish it. He did. They broke up to be friends. He could do it. She couldn't. She loved him. But he already wanted something else. Maybe he had somebody else in his mind. A girl who returned into his thoughts periodically. Maybe it was only the girls opinion. They were friend for a while. It seemed ages. Maybe they were soulmates in a way. But she never wanted to be his girlfriend. He was better for being a friend of hers. She loved him like a brother but never thought about him as a boyfriend. It would disturb everything. He knew it too.
This is a difficult situation. And I don't know how to help these people.

Lives

There are three holes on my wall that make me remeber my former life. It was a long period with a lot of happy and unhappy memories, but I really want to put an end to it.

I got two new bookshelves. They make my room more confortable for me. The room is now really mine with them. And my books finally have a good place. Laci put them on the wall today but I have already fall in love with the new look of my room.

My day was very boring especially the afternoon, but I started to prepare for my sister's wedding. I have some very usable ideas for it, and she likes them too. I hope it will be so good as she wants. I will do my best to help them. :) Well, I need to find some good quotations...

Jason, I know you have a lot of work. I just want you to know that I miss you. I think you liked my room too...

Barbeque Party

We had a barbecue party on Wednesday. Some of my friends came and we spend a very good night together. Unfortunately Jason had some problems with his stomach, so he went to sleep early. But some of us did not sleep all over the night.
I realised again that I have difficult relationship with a friend. I cannot explain it why. But I will try to know about it much as I do not want it to become problematic for anyone.
The weather is hot 40 degree Celsius, so I just read and relax at home. Everyone should do it if they can. Have a nice weekend, everyone.

The Letter Has Arrived

From today I am officially a Ph.D. student at the University of Debrecen. :)